On birth

April 4, 2017

 

 

I need to talk about something gross. BIRTH. I am a publicist, and there literally is no PR spin you can put on this act to change the fact that it is a hot, crazy mess of a situation that is so far out of your control. But, read on for there is redemption at the end, as I am not a cynical person duh.

 

My friend and I were pregnant at the same time. We would waddle around the park trails together like big ole’ whales with legs. We compared notes from the classes we took at the hospitals. We threw each other baby showers.

 

We also giggled at pictures from our birthing books like 10 year old girls at a sleepover.

 

I mean, have you SEEN the Bradley Method book? They have not updated the photographs since the 1970’s. Apparently the women at the time who were all about the Bradley were also all about not shaving ...anything, and having zero qualms about posing nude and covered in birth goop for subsequent generations of overly emotional pregnant women to gape at in horror.


We giggled, but then we would also get serious and be like: HOW ARE WE ACTUALLY GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

 

Welp, there was no turning back.

 

My sweet friend gave birth first. 36 hours it lasted. I was secretly horrified for her. Clearly, I was going to have my baby in a quick, easy 10 hour birth like my mom and sister and grandma and aunt all did. This is what I told myself

 

In a few weeks, I went into labor. After 40 really tough hours, I had my friend’s record beat.

 

It has been a year since this crazy birth thing happened, and I feel like now, with a little sleep under my belt, I can have a more clear perspective.

 

Birth was fricking ridiculous but guess what -- it taught me something, even though I prefer to be taught things via Netflix on my couch. It taught me that women, are absolutely amazing. I mean, I knew that before but now I REALLY KNEW. How my friend and I were able go through that marathon of pain, then shower and blow dry our hair the next day, drink a Starbucks and feed a human being with that very body that was just destroyed a few hours earlier, is nothing short of a miracle.


Women are superheros. And when you become a mom, birth is just a (crazy as crap) crash course in just how strong you are, how resilient you are, and how no matter how crazy one day is, you will feel better the next.

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